


The Amortentia Incident

by Trebla



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-14
Updated: 2010-12-14
Packaged: 2017-10-23 02:03:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/245014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trebla/pseuds/Trebla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an unexpected Potions accident, Sirius Black falls under the influence of Amortentia, the most powerful love potion in the world. Who has become the object of his affections, one may ask? Why, Remus Lupin, of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Amortentia Incident

It was a well-known fact that Remus Lupin was terrible at Potions. He excelled in all other classes he took, but for some reason, Potions was his Achilles' Heel. Luckily, however, the unfortunate werewolf was usually paired by Professor Slughorn with Sirius Black, longtime friend and that-kid-who's-great-at-everything-including-Potions, which meant that Remus usually got away with a passing grade in the class.

The one thing Sirius Black _didn't_ appear to have any skill in, however, was tact. And discretion. And manners.

They were currently attempting to make a diluted form of the love potion Amortentia- or, at least, Remus was, with occasional instructions from Sirius, who had finished his already- and his supposed partner had taken the mortar he was supposed to be mashing peppermint with and had refused to give it back. He was using it for a variety of obscene gestures to make their two other friends in the class, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, roar with laughter. Remus rolled his eyes and did his best to ignore them, but finally, he'd had enough.

"Sirius," Remus said, attempting to use his most patient voice, usually the one he reserved for small children. "I need the mortar." He didn't really need it; his potion was just completed, thanks to assistance from Lily Evans. He just wanted the dark-haired pureblood to _shut up._

Sirius glanced over at him from where he had been preforming a very provocative motion with the stone tool behind Slughorn's back. "You sure you want it now, Moony?" he teased, giving his friend a wink and rubbing his hand slowly up and down the mortar. Remus sighed.

"I don't care, Sirius. Just give me the mortar." Sirius pouted at him, and Remus knew he was in for a fight.

"No," Sirius said stubbornly, folding his arms and glaring at him, the mortar still clutched in one hand. Remus knew the boy wouldn't give it up willingly, but if he could get him to loosen his grip...

Remus thought fast and affected the most shocked and disgusted expression he could. Sirius frowned, and Remus pointed behind him, speaking in a choked voice.

"James...Wormtail...augh, it's disgusting! I can't look anymore!" A large part of Remus' brain-all of it, in fact- was sure this wasn't going to work, but to his surprise, Sirius looked behind him interestedly, searching for the reason for his friend's horror. Distracted, the mortar hung loosely in his fingers...

Moving quickly, Remus reached out to grab the stone. Sirius, however, reacted at the last second, backing up slightly and forcing the teen to take another step forward to keep his balance, knocking into his cauldron and spilling it...

All over Sirius.

No one moved for a second. They were all staring at Sirius, who was standing still, the remains of the potion dripping from his dark hair onto the floor. Remus stood, horrified, and watched a dreamy expression come over his friend's features; the mortar, now forgotten, dropped to the floor with a loud crack that made half the room jump. James and Peter, realizing that something was terribly wrong, wandered over to where Remus was still standing, frozen in shock.

James was the first to break the silence. "Padfoot? Padders, mate? Are you alright?"

Sirius looked at him dreamily, his eyes distant and unfocused. "Hey, Jamsie?" he asked, softly. James blinked.

"Yeah, Pads?" he responded.

"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked, looking around him with a tiny smile on his face. Remus felt his stomach drop. This could not be happening...

He attempted to edge behind James and Peter, so the dark-haired Animagus wouldn't see him, but unfortunately, the movement had exactly the opposite effect. Sirius' eyes snapped directly to them, and suddenly they were bright and clear, but glassy, like someone with a terrible fever.

"REMUS!" Sirius shouted joyfully, and tackled his best friend to the ground. Remus let out a distinctly feminine squeak as the larger boy's weight hit him fully, and he flushed red when Sirius put his arms around the other boy's neck and whispered loudly, "Have I ever told you that I love you?"

James snickered, and Remus knew immediately that his life was about to become hell.

* * *

A trip to Madam Pomfrey's was in order after that fiasco, during which Remus was forced to wait out in the hall until his friends emerged, both looking highly amused and being trailed by a chuckling Professor Slughorn.

"He's taken quite a fancy to you, lad," he said, clapping the miserable boy on the shoulder. "I must say, that's got to be the strongest mixture of Amortentia I've ever seen you make. Keep it up, my boy, keep it up!" Slughorn chuckled some more to himself, his large moustache quivering. "Oh, and I should be able to have an antidote ready by tomorrow. He should be right as rain after that!" Slughorn smiled cheerfully at Remus, who nodded hopefully.

As the professor departed down the hall, the three boys turned and made their way to the Great Hall for dinner.

James grinned and punched Remus playfully in the shoulder. "Hey, I think you and Sirius might have some 'chemistry' there!" he joked, and Peter laughed loudly.

Remus shook his head and glared at the two boys. "You're being ridiculous," he said. James grinned at him cheekily.

"Well, with Padders stuck in the infirmary 'til the antidote comes, I've got to step in and be devilishly handsome, yet terribly charming, for two people now instead of one!" he explained, grinning as Remus rolled his eyes. "But really, I think there might be something between you two. It's all so romantic." James pressed a hand to his heart dramatically, completing the image with a melodramatic sigh. "Met over a mortar...I bet you really didn't expect to stumble into love like that, did you, Moony?"

At that, he and Wormtail dissolved into laughter again. Remus folded his arms and strode ahead of them, ignoring their giggling apologies, until they reached the Great Hall.

Of course, the news of the love potion mishap had already spread like wildfire. All over the massive dining hall, people were turning curious stares to Remus and whispering amongst themselves. Remus even caught a few of Sirius' admirers sending him jealous glares. Remus sighed and put his head in his hands. What had he done to deserve this?

James noticed his misery and clapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Mooners. Don't worry about it," he said with a grin. "I'm sure ol' Sluggy will be able to whip up an antidote, no problem. It'll all be over tomorrow."


	2. The Amortentia Incident

"What do you mean, the antidote didn't work?" A very harried Remus demanded the next morning in Slughorn's office. Sirius was standing next to him, grinning goofily and trying to hold his hand, which was something he was not enjoying the least bit.

Slughorn looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, Remus, but I just don't know what went wrong. I double-checked the ingredients; they were all in order. We administered the antidote, and at first I thought it had done the trick, but then..." He shrugged helplessly. "He slipped right back into it."

Remus sighed and threw his hands into the air. "Well, what can you do about it?" he demanded. "I can't deal with this-" he gestured wildly to Sirius, staring at Remus with an expression of complete devotion- "on top of everything else!" The distraught teen stared at Slughorn beseechingly. "Please! You have to find a way to fix him!"

Slughorn sighed and laced his fingers together. "I assure you, my boy, I am doing what I can to get the two of you out of this...predicament, but this is a situation I have never encountered before, and may take some time. Until then, you'll just have to deal with the consequences."

Remus sighed, but nodded slowly, and allowed himself to be escorted out. Once they were alone, Sirius suddenly took his friend's face in his hands and examined him intently.

"Is something wrong, Remus?" he asked with concern. "Are you alright? Is it the moon?"

Blinking and resolutely ignoring how lovely Sirius' eyes suddenly were, especially at close range, Remus carefully detached himself from his infatuated friend's delicate grip and shook his head. "That's...part of it," he sighed. He suspected that Sirius would firmly deny any notion about his having accidentally ingested a love potion, so he figured the best course of action would be to totally ignore the subject unless it directly interfered in his daily routine. Besides, the full moon was only one week away; it would be an excellent excuse for his sudden stress and tension.

Sirius pulled him into a hug, startling Remus, despite his being prepared for public acts such as this. "It's okay, I'll always be here for you," he murmured into the smaller boy's hair, holding him close. Remus felt a slight flush rise into his cheeks at the words, and hastily disentangled himself, muttering excuses about being late for classes. Sirius just smiled serenely and followed behind Remus, an adoring look on his face as he did so.

They had most of their classes together, which, although highly inconvenient for Remus, who was left having to deal with the not-so-subtle advances of his friend throughout the day, as well as the somewhat disturbed stares that followed, also allowed him to keep a close eye on the lovestruck teen, just in case he decided he needed to do something rash to prove his love to his wearied friend.

They had actually been doing quite well so far, with only a few minor detentions for such things as refusing to shut up about Remus' talents in Transfiguration and for almost throwing a tantrum at the thought that they would have to be separated to go to two different classes. It was once they reached the Great Hall for lunch that the real trouble began.

It started off innocently enough...sort of. "Remus, do you love me?"

James choked on his pumpkin juice, and Peter paused with a forkful of meat halfway to his mouth, his jaw hanging open as he stared at Sirius. Some of the Gryffindors around the group stopped eating to listen in as well, always eager for new, juicy bits of gossip.

"I, uh, well, you see..." Remus floundered, trying to get his wording just right. "I love you more as a brother or a close friend, Padfoot. Not really romantically."

He had said the wrong thing. Sirius' entire face fell, and he looked so distraught that Remus was about to take back what he had said and pledge his undying love for the disillusioned boy. But as it were, Sirius was one step ahead of him.

He leapt onto the table, scattering plates and food everywhere. Horror-struck, Remus could only watch as Sirius lifted his chin defiantly and shouted in a voice loud enough to echo over the entire hall, "I am in love with Remus Lupin, and this is my way of proving it to him!"

It was dead silent. Remus tried to make some kind of sound, but all that seemed to be coming out was a sort of strangled squeak. Desperately, he stared at James, hoping for some sort of salvation from this mortfiying mess he had been thrown into.

James winked at him. Remus felt something soft and definitely Cloak-like brush his ankles, and James jumped up from his seat, putting his hands on his hips and looking haughty, eliciting a few giggles from the direction of the Slytherin table.

"I'll bet I love him more than you!" he declared, eyes on Sirius.

If anything, the Great Hall was even quieter than before. Strangely, the teachers were making no move to halt the spectacle. If anything, they all seemed enraptured, watching the drama folding out in front of them. Even Dumbledore seemed interested, though there was a glint of knowing amusement in his eyes that was absent from the others'.

Sirius' eyes turned dark with anger. He was actually shaking, he was so furious. Remus slowly reached down and snatched up the Invisibility Cloak, ready to throw it on and disappear in case Sirius did anything drastic.

Which he did, of course. This _was_ Sirius we're talking about.

"How _dare_ you- NO ONE CAN LOVE REMUS MORE THAN ME!" Sirius roared, and he jumped off the table, fully ready to smash his best friend into little tiny pieces of James-mush and then feed them to the giant squid, for good measure.

Chaos erupted. James went down with an irate Sirius on top of him. Students were craning their necks and jumping on top of tables to watch the fight, while the Slytherins started up a chant of "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Meanwhile, the teachers had jumped up- with the exception of Dumbledore, who was oddly calm- to take control of the situation. More than one of them had burning ears as they forced their way through the mob of clamoring students.

The Great Hall was in chaos, and no one noticed when Remus suddenly disappeared and slipped out of the hall, safely hidden under the Invisibility Cloak.


	3. Taking A Walk

Remus didn't really know where he was going, but he didn't stop running. Mostly everyone was in the Great Hall, watching the chaos unfold, so he didn't have to worry too much about running into students in the halls or having them see the Cloak flapping about his ankles, exposing him, as he ran.

Finally, winded and filled with a swirling torrent of confusing emotions, Remus plopped down under a tree in the courtyard and put his head in his hands to think. He forced himself to calm down and examine just what was making him so frantic about this situation.

One, of course, was fear for James. He sincerely hoped that the fight had been stopped before Sirius could get a good swing in at their friend. The next emotion he could disentangle from the mass was exasperation at Sirius, followed quickly by annoyance and...affection?

That couldn't be right. This whole mess was driving him bonkers, and he was feeling _attracted_ to Sirius for it? Remus groaned out loud. Curse his completely unnecessary teenage hormones...

Remus had realized a while ago that girls just didn't make him feel the same way that boys did. He had been terrified to tell his friends when he had found out, but after this mess was over, he resolved firmly in his mind to come clean about it. There would be teasing and joking with him, but was he really new to that? Sirius, in particular, would be keen to use his experiences to imply that it was he who had turned Remus...

The thought of Sirius made his stomach lurch, but in a kind of excited-tingly way. It was terribly confusing, and Remus found himself pondering a new question: was Sirius gay too?

His immediate response was no. Sirius was very, very much into girls, and just because he occasionally cuddled with Remus or tried to hold his hand in the hallway didn't mean anything. He was Sirius, he liked to push people's buttons. Especially his own, it seemed.

Remus sighed, and a voice spoke from behind him.

"You alright, mate?" it asked. Remus jumped violently and yelped, and James chuckled as he sat down next to Remus, whose hood had fallen off in his fright, leaving his head appearing to hang weirdly in space. Relaxing as he realized who it was, Remus removed the Cloak and handed it back to his friend, realizing as he did so that James was sporting a rapidly swelling black eye.

"So he did get you," Remus murmured, wincing guiltily. "I'm sorry, James, I shouldn't have made you do anything for me..."

James shrugged and grinned. "Don't worry about it, Moony," he said easily. "You're my friend. I probably would've done it anyway, if at least to get that fool off the table." He shook his head, fond exasperation in his voice. "But anyway, maybe I can get Evans to feel sympathetic for my terrible plight and be my loving and doting nurse, during which time she shall fall madly in love with me. I will marry her once we get out of school, and we will have exactly one child, whose name shall be Harold." His voice was dreamy as he said this, and he stared off into the distance, a placid smile on his face as he thought about the possibilities.

Remus laughed and arched an eyebrow. "Harold?" he asked quizzically. "Cut the poor kid a break, Prongs, at least call him Harry."

James came back to himself as he considered that notion. "All right, Harry it is," he said at length. He grinned, and Remus couldn't help but smile back.

They fell into a companionable silence, each left to their own thoughts. Spring was just beginning, and though a slight chill still lingered on the air, the birds had already returned and soft, green buds were beginning to unfold on the tree they were sitting against. Cherry, or maybe dogwood? Remus pondered idly, picking at his fingers, whose nails were already bitten down to the quick. Suddenly he realized that now would be a perfect time to tell James about his homosexuality; they were alone, and Sirius wasn't around...

He opened his mouth to speak. "James, I-"

"Oh, found you with the traitor, have I?" Sirius' nasty voice sounded from behind them. His mouth snapping shut, Remus scrambled up from his seat on the ground to face Sirius, who was standing with his arms folded, glaring at James. Remus sighed; he supposed his confession would have to wait.

"Sirius, let's take a walk," he said, hoping to distract the fuming boy from his target. It worked, as Sirius' expression instantly turned eager and all thoughts of James were gone as he nodded enthusiastically.

As they walked away, Remus chanced a look over his shoulder and an apologetic wince, to which James just grinned and waved before disappearing under the Invisibility Cloak, presumably to find his way back to the common room to lay on the couch and look pitiful, in hopes of enticing Lily to care for him.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Sirius asked as they walked. Remus glanced at him, surprised.

"You're surprisingly insightful for someone under the influence of a love potion," he mused, more to himself than to Sirius.

Sirius laughed. "Silly Moony, I'm not under the influence of any love potions," he said, smiling and putting his arm around Remus' waist. Remus sighed, but let it pass, unable to ignore the tingle that passed through his stomach at the touch.

"Listen, Sirius," he began, swallowing and bracing himself for the worst, "about what happened in the Great Hall today..."

To his surprise, Sirius waved a hand airily. "Oh, don't worry about it, Moony," he said lightly. "I've forgiven you. I understand it must be hard to accept your feelings just yet, because they're so new. But it's okay, you'll come around, I'm sure of it." He spoke confidently, and Remus felt his ears turn pink as he realized just how much closer he was to that goal that Sirius realized.

"Oh, ah, good, then," he said, nodding. "But I actually wanted to talk about James..."

At that Sirius' face turned dark. "That traitor," he spat. "After all the things we've been through, and he goes and tries to steal you from me!" He shook his head, eyes clouded with anger. "I guess we can never be friends again, after this." He spoke with a finality that shocked Remus, who suddenly found himself speaking without thinking.

"No, no, you don't understand!" he cried, speaking hastily. "You see, James was under the influence of a...a love potion! He didn't know what he was doing. But Slughorn just fixed him up, so he's alright again." Remus couldn't believe the words that had just come out of his mouth. The irony of it all made him want to laugh, but he repressed the urge and stared at Sirius beseechingly, hoping his story would check out.

To his relief, Sirius nodded slowly, the anger in his eyes disappating. "Yeah, that would make sense," he said thoughtfully. "Well, good, then! I'm glad I don't have to stop being friends with him. But if he ever tries to take you away from me again..." Sirius' face darkened for a moment, and Remus felt a now-familiar wave of exasperation rising in him, "I won't settle for just blacking his eye."

Remus nodded and sighed. Sirius smiled at him and opened his arms invitingly. For a moment, Remus considered rejecting the offer, but he had already seen once how unpredictable Sirius could be when Remus showed any hesitation toward him. So instead, he stepped into the embrace and closed his eyes.

It was very comfortable, he discovered, to have Sirius Black holding him. He buried his nose in the other boy's shoulder and tentatively put his skinny arms around his waist. Sirius may still have been under the influence of the love potion, but his embrace was warm and comforting, and Remus could pretend, for just a moment, that he was in the arms of someone who loved him back.


	4. Realizations

At first, Remus had faith that Professor Slughorn would be able to fix Sirius easily, despite his first failure. As the days began to pass, however, he realized that the man was in entirely new territory, and was proving to be absolutely useless. Everything he tried to administer to the love-struck Sirius seemed to have no effect whatsoever, with the exception of retching and gagging, and once, a hurried trip to the restroom to regurgitate the Potions Master's latest failure.

So, in desperation, Remus turned to the one person he held hope would be able to fix Sirius' condition: Severus Snape.

Remus managed to corner the reluctant Slytherin boy one day after their classes had finished. Remus had spotted the greasy-haired child slinking down a corridor, and was on him in a flash.

"Severus?" Remus asked cautiously, afraid the boy might flee. Snape jumped and looked around, his eyes finally falling on Remus. His face twisted into a nasty sneer.

"What do you want, _Remus_?" He hissed, his arms folded. Remus couldn't help but notice that the boy was trembling, but he ignored it and pushed on, being as polite as possible.

"I need your help, Severus," he said carefully, watching for the boy's reaction. "It's about Sirius."

At first, Snape's face went blank with surprise, but at Sirius' name, it changed again into an expression of disgust. "You want me to help you with _him_?" he said, the disdain raditating off of him in waves. "Why would you think I'd ever help _you,_ let alone that snotty prat?"

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his brown hair. He had figured this would happen, but he still thought it was worth it to try. "I don't know," he sighed at last, his shoulders falling. "It's just that Slughorn can't seem to find a cure for Sirius, and I know you're one of the best at Potions..." He shrugged. "I just thought it would be worth it to ask."

Snape snorted. "Well, you thought wrong," he said, glaring at the werewolf with dislike. He started off down the hall, calling over his shoulder as he went, "Besides, you don't need my help anyway."

"Wait-" Remus called after him, but it was too late; with a swish of his robes, Snape disappeared around the corner. Figuring that it would do no good to follow him, Remus sighed and turned to make his way back to the common room.

Once inside, Remus was deciding to turn in for the night when he spotted a flash of red hair in the corner. A spark of hope flared into his consciousness; if anyone could help him with understanding Snape, it would be his best friend, Lily Evans.

Glancing around to make sure that Sirius wasn't in sight, Remus strode over and tapped the girl on her shoulder.

"Listen, Potter, I told you- oh, Remus!" Lily exclaimed, realizing who stood in front of her. She and Remus had always been on good terms, despite the company he kept. Remus sincerely hoped that now the red-headed beauty would be willing to help him with his predicament, despite the fact that she greatly detested Sirius.

Jerking his head at the portrait hole, Remus waited until Lily had excused herself from her group of friends- all of whom were giggling and whispering amongst themselves at his presence- before making his way back out into the corridor.

"What's the problem, Remus?" Lily inquired, as soon as the portrait had swung shut again. Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair, leaning against the wall.

"I tried to convince Severus to help me with Sirius today," he said without preamble. Lily's eyebrows tried to make contact with the roots of her hair at the words.

"Why in the world would you have attempted that?" she asked, regarding him with a mixture of amusement and concern. "He detests the lot of you, even yourself, though you've never teased him. I always wondered why..." she trailed off, a silent question in her words. If she had been hoping for an answer, she didn't get one, as the boy only shrugged.

"I'm getting kind of desperate," Remus admitted, rocking back on his heels. "Slughorn isn't helping much, and Sirius is driving me up a wall- Severus was the first person I could think of who might be inventive enough to come up with an antidote to this blasted love potion." Remus kicked the wall without any real force, feeling more hopeless than ever.

"So where do I come into this?" Lily asked, her green eyes curious. Remus explained to her about his confusion concerning Severus' last words to him, and how he had hoped that she would be able to see some sort of meaning in them, being the boy's closest friend.

Lily was quiet for a long time, chewing on her lip as she mused. Despite being homosexual, Remus could certainly see why James fancied the girl so much; she was absolutely gorgeous, her red hair glimmering in the dim light from the torches on the walls, her eyes a beautiful shade of emerald. She had a kind of magnetisim to her personality, something that made even the smallest of gestures- the biting of her lip in thought, for example- undeniably endearing. Remus had, coincidentally, found this quality in Sirius as well, and wondered privately whether if it had played a part in his attraction to the dark-haired pureblood.

Lily's voice jolted him out of his musings. "It's hard to say what he might mean by that. Sev was always kind of hard to read, even for me." Lily frowned. "It's possible he meant that Slughorn would be able to find a cure?" she sounded uncertain as she said it, and Remus sighed, sliding down the stone wall to sit on the floor.

"This is hopeless," he moaned, burying his face in his hands. After a moment, he heard the rustle of robes as Lily sat down beside him. Tentatively, she put her hand on his arm.

"Remus," she said quietly, "Do you like Sirius?"

He froze. How did she know?

Taking his silence as an affirmation, Lily leaned against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. "I thought so. If you didn't, this would feel like more of a joke, an opportunity to tease Sirius, rather than the end of the world for you." Remus stared at the floor from in between his fingers as she continued to speak. "I always wondered if you did like him. You never had a girlfriend, and you two were always close...I'm sorry if I'm offending you in any way," she added hurriedly as Remus gave a loud groan.

Shaking his head, he smiled at Lily ruefully. "No, it's alright," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I just find it kind of funny, I guess, that you realized I liked him before I did..." he trailed off, and shrugged suddenly. "It doesn't matter, though," he said abruptly, standing up. "Sirius is very safely straight, even though he thinks he's in love with me because of this blasted potion."

Lily gasped. Remus frowned at her as she scrambled to her feet, grinning excitedly. "What if it's not the potion?" she said, staring into his eyes, willing him to understand. "What if-"

"He's just pretending?" Remus finished her statement, a kind of wonder in his voice. His head was spinning. It would all make sense. Slughorn's inability to create an antidote, the fact that Sirius seemed to have the full effects of Amortentia despite the fact that he ingested only a small amount, even Severus' last words to him...

Abruptly, his face turned stormy. Lily noticed the change, and asked concernedly, "Remus? What's wrong?"

"Why is he doing this to me?" Remus growled, punching the wall with his fist. The unforgiving stone ground against his knuckles, scraping them open, but he ignored the pain and continued on his tirade. "Does he think this is some kind of joke? That I'm going to forgive him when this is all over and we're going to be best mates like always?" Remus ground his teeth together and whirled suddenly to face Lily, the anguish in his face clear. "Can't he see that I love him?"

Lily opened her mouth to speak, but Remus held up his hand to stop her. "I'm sorry," he said, the effort it took to keep his composure obvious. "I've said too much. I think... I'm going to go on a walk, now."

"But-" the words Lily had been about to say died in her throat as she saw the expression on the boy's face. Instead, she nodded dumbly, and Remus clasped her arm in thanks and turned to leave.

Lily didn't move until the sounds of his footsteps had faded from her ears. Then, with a look of determination in her eyes, she muttered the password and burst into the common room, and, by a stroke of luck, spotted just the person she needed descending the stairs.

"Sirius!"


	5. Confessions

Remus tried to walk, but the force of the emotions that had been building up inside him for so long made him want to run. He needed space, needed fresh air.

With a surprising stroke of luck, the door leading out to the courtyard was unlocked. Slipping through it silently, Remus paused for a moment in the shadow of the archway, drinking in the cool night air and allowing it to soothe the tight knot that had formed in his throat.

He kept to the shadows for fear of being spotted by Filch or a teacher roaming the grounds, and cautiously made his way in the direction of the lake.

The moon was nearly full; it was only four days til his change. Remus felt a shudder pass through him at the sight of the silver disc hanging in the sky. It had been the source of many of his past troubles for most of his life, and he had come to despise the sight of it.

Remus walked until he stood on the shore of the body of water, letting the slight waves lap against his . Leaning down, he picked up a few flat, smooth rocks and took aim.

The first one skipped three times across the water, disturbing its mirrorlike surface as though shattered. The second made it five, and the third he simply chucked as hard as he could, taking comfort in its loud _plunk_ into the waters. He imagined it sinking slowly, alone in the surrounding darkness, drifting deeper and deeper until it touched the murky bottom, isolated and small.

"Alone and unloved," Remus said aloud.

"Now, why would you think that? Handsome, strapping boy like you, all by yourself?" a familiar voice spoke from behind him. Remus whirled to find the source of all of his troubles of late, standing with his hands in his pockets, all traces of potion-influence gone.

Remus snapped at him; he couldn't help it. "Oh, so you _were_ lying after all. 'Let's just make fun of Remus, it'll be a lark, we don't need to worry about how _he_ feels.'" His voice was bitter as he spoke, and he turned from his friend to stare out across the water, feeling hot tears prick at his eyes. He held them back, though; Sirius wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

"Moony- Remus, please. Let me explain." Sirius' voice was soft, but Remus didn't answer, the stubborn notion entering his head that if he just kept ignoring Sirius, the boy would leave him alone.

"At first, I _was_ under the effects of the potion," Sirius said, speaking despite Remus' stony silence. "The first antidote Slughorn gave me, it worked. But then, I had an idea: why not continue to pretend to be under the effects of the Amortentia, to be closer to you? I'd seen how those under the potion acted, I figured I could pull it off. Snivellus saw through me, though. I could tell he knew, but he never said anything. I wondered why, but to ask would be to blow my cover." Remus stayed silent, though a question was burning at his lips; why?

"I figured I'd have fun with it for a day or two, get Sluggy and the others sweating about my 'mysterious condition' before I got serious with you about this. But it backfired." Sirius' voice held a note of strain; it sounded as though he were attempting to hold some kind of emotion in. Disgust? Amusement? Love? Remus didn't know, and he was afraid to ask.

"I didn't see how much this was weighing on you. I was stupid, I thought I had such a brilliant plan, you know? Fool-proof. 'cept I turned out to be a fool, myself." Sirius fell silent, and for a while, there was no sound but the silence, weighing down on the two of them, suffocating. At last, Remus felt he had to speak or he would go mad.

"What did you mean, 'to be closer to me?'" he croaked at last, his voice hoarse from the lump, which still hadn't receded. He turned to face the raven-haired boy standing behind him, curious despite his anger. "I thought you weren't into blokes."

Sirius chuckled softly, taking a step forward. Though Remus tensed, he didn't move, and Sirius took another step, and another, until they were standing nearly nose-to-nose.

"Don't you get it, Moony?" he whispered, dark eyes searching the other's face. "I'm in love with you." Sirius took Remus' chin and kissed him deeply, trying to prove the truth of his words to the boy.

Remus gasped; this was the last thing he had expected. Betrayal and attraction were warring in his head; he pulled back from the kiss, head spinning. Sirius stared at him, a slow realization dawning on his features.

"Oh," he said quietly. The one syllable was enough to make Remus want to kiss him again, to prove to him that it wasn't what he thought, that he returned those feelings too...

But he was frozen. Disoriented, he could only stare blankly as Sirius turned, as if in slow motion, and began to walk back up the hill to the school.

When Sirius reached the top, he turned and looked back, but there was no one to see him.


	6. The Full Moon

The next day, Remus Lupin didn't show up for classes. The students and the staff alike were concerned; where had the boy gone? Wild rumors began to circulate, the least of which being that the boy had decided his talents were better off used in a Muggle magic show, and had dropped out of Hogwarts to travel with a circus. Luckily, an apparently-restored-to-good-sense Sirius Black was able to inform them that Remus had become violently ill during the night, and was confined to bedrest until further notice.

Disappointed, the gossips of Hogwarts needed to search for new material, which they found in the suddenly strange manner of the aforementioned Black boy. He was more distracted than usual; he looked tired, as though he wasn't getting much sleep. He had stopped cracking jokes, and even his friends looked concerned for him. This, of course, was the kind of thing gossips latched onto and fed off of like leeches. That, as well as the continued absence of Remus, served to conjure some very wild- and some very inappropriate- rumors.

Sirius paid none of them any heed. He was withdrawn, waiting. Waiting for the one day he would be able to contact Remus again.

The full moon.

* * *

The Shrieking Shack was normally a quiet, disused place. A thin layer of dust covered the furniture and the floors in the rooms, and no presence ever really disturbed the slumbering memories hidden there.

Tonight, though, was different. Strange prints were scattered throughout the ill-used rooms, and the unpleasant smell of wet dog permeated the air.

Lying in the corner, curled into a small ball so as to be noticed less easily, was a werewolf. Normally, this werewolf would be in a rage of anger and animalistic brutality that belied its human form's gentle nature. Tonight, however, something was wrong. The werewolf had carried its human emotions into its body for once, and none of them were pleasant.

The wolf-creature whined softly, its misery palpable. It was sad, but the only thing the creature's simplified brain functions could pick out as a cause was an image of a large, shaggy black dog.

Resting its large head against the rickety wall with a soft _thump_ , the werewolf closed its eyes and tried to sleep, foreign feelings of loneliness and sorrow its only company.

* * *

The moon was high in the night sky when a new sound disturbed the werewolf's fitful rest. It was awake instantly, a low growl rising in its throat. It slowly rose into a crouched position, waiting with its head turned in the direction the sound was coming from.

The sound was a kind of scrabbling noise, located behind a panel in the wall that hid a secret tunnel, which, in turn, led to a hole emerging from the roots of an enchanted tree, generally known as the Whomping Willow.

Watching cautiously, the werewolf scented the air. Its growls grew slightly louder, and the scratching paused for a moment, to be replaced by a sudden banging much resembling the sound one made when bodily hurling themselves at an unyielding surface.

At last, the wood gave way, and a large hairy dog tumbled into view. Sneezing at the dust that arose from its entrance into the room, the dog stood and shook itself, dislodging further dirt and dust that floated on the air and made the room even stuffier.

A sudden sneeze from the corner attracted the dog's attention. Cocking its head curiously to one side, the animal carefully crept forward, its wet black nose twitching as it searched for the scent of the sneezer.

A sudden growl stopped it in its tracks. The werewolf slowly emerged into view, teeth bared. The dog whined and wagged its tail halfheartedly. The werewolf snorted, as if in disdain, and the dog's tail went between its legs.

Slowly, keeping eye contact with the creature the whole time, the dog lay down and rolled on its belly, offering surrender and apology. The werewolf seemed confused by this action; it tilted its head to one side, mimicking the dog's earlier pose, and its lips relaxed, dropping back over yellowed teeth. It crept forward slowly, as if fearing a trick. The dog stayed still, paws hanging comically in the air over its head, leaving itself at the wolf-creature's mercy.

Finally, they were nose-to-nose. At first, neither moved. The two stared into each other's eyes, simply evaluating. Then, suddenly, the dog licked the werewolf's nose.

Snorting and shaking its head in surprise, the werewolf stepped backward and lost its balance, falling hard onto its back. Giving a joyful yip, the dog scrambled up, completely prepared to launch itself upon its friend, when its sharp snarl made the shaggy beast hesitate. It gave a low whine, tail tucked between its legs, as the werewolf scrabbled up from its rather embarrassing position on the floor, lips drawn back slightly over its teeth in warning.

The dog shrank back, ears flattened against its head. The werewolf stared at it for a few moments more, then gave a sharp jerk of its head and lumbered off into a different room. The dog's tail swiped the air hopefully, and it trotted after the wolf, pausing to poke its head cautiously through the doorway before entering.

The room had once been a parlor of sorts, with an old, overstuffed couch in one corner, filled with rips and tears in the fabric, and a few dusty paintings on the walls. A section of the ceiling was missing, exposing an inky black sky dotted with sparkling stars. The bright full circle of the moon cast its light through the hole, giving the room an ethereal blue glow. The werewolf skirted this space, instead making its way to a back corner in the shadows that had been piled with blankets and rugs, creating a warm and comfortable nest.

Prodding a rug here, a blanket there, the werewolf circled and made itself comfortable in the nest. Seeing that the dog had hung back, it gave a jerk of the head and a sneeze that could be interpreted as an invitation. The dog's ears perked up immediately, and it bounded over to the werewolf and snuggled in next to it, resting its snout on the creature's back.

The werewolf's breathing began to slow, and soon, it had dropped off into its first deep sleep for days.

Sensing that the wolf had fallen into slumber, the dog's tail thumped once or twice on the rugs, and snuggling closer, it, too, was finally able to rest.

Unnoticed, the moon crept across the sky until it was nearly touching the horizon. A dim light began to fill the dusty, empty rooms of the Shrieking Shack. In one room, however, two creatures slept on, unaware of the change of night into day; one, a large, shaggy black dog, who was snuggled securely into the other, a pale, skinny boy with brown hair, his arms wrapped around the dog, a small, contented smile on his face.


	7. The Morning After

Sirius awoke to find that it was afternoon. He sighed, stretched, and returned to human form just as Remus entered the room. He was rubbing his eyes and looking exhausted, the flannel pajama pants and cotton t-shirt he wore hanging loosely on his lanky frame. In short, he looked the way he usually did right after a full moon. Sirius' heart gave a pang at his appearance all the same, and he rose from the nest, moving over and neatly ensnaring the boy on his way to the couch.

"Good morning, Sleepywolf," he said, burying his face in Remus' shoulder. Remus gave a weak sound of protest, but gave in easily, allowing himself to be cuddled by the larger, warmer boy.

Sirius sighed contentedly and pulled back to look more closely at the object of his affections. Closer up, the dark circles under Remus' eyes were glaringly obvious, and his face looked hallow and pale.

"What are you doing up?" he asked, lacing his fingers with Remus'. He shrugged and stifled a yawn.

"I was hungry," he responded simply. "And I felt the need to make myself decent, despite how you would prefer otherwise, I'm sure." A smile played around the corners of his mouth. Sirius grinned, planting a kiss on his lover's cheek.

"You guessed correctly," he agreed, squeezing the boy's hand and leading him over to the sofa. Plopping down, Sirius pulled Remus down on top of him and wrapped his arms securely around his waist.

Remus relaxed against the warm body behind him, closing his eyes. His breathing slowed, and for a while, Sirius had thought he had fallen back asleep. Then, Remus' voice broke the silence.

"Sirius?" he asked quietly, his eyes still closed. Sirius tilted his head to the side curiously, an echo of his Animagus form in the movement.

"Yeah, Moony?" he responded. Remus turned his head to face the other boy, his amber eyes serious.

"Can we tell people?" he asked. Sirius blinked, confused.

"Tell them what?"

"Tell them about...us," Remus said, turning pink as he said it. Sirius felt a warmth grow inside him at the words, and he hugged the werewolf boy closer to him.

"Of course!" he exclaimed, grinning widely. "But there isn't an us to tell people about yet."

Remus blinked, confused. Sirius grinned again and gestured for Remus to stand. He did so, looking bemused, and Sirius dropped to one knee before him.

He cleared his throat, and taking Remus' hand in his own, spoke gravely. "Remus John Lupin, will you allow for I, Sirius Orion Black, to court you? This would entitle kissing and holding hands in public, taking you on dates, and being quite open about our relationship for as long as we shall wish it to last?"

Remus was laughing as he pulled Sirius into standing. "For better or for worse," he agreed, planting a sound kiss on his lips.


End file.
